I am a traveler. The only thing that remains unhinged in my fate is change. I get new houses full to the brim with hope, dreams, prayers and moments to cherish for life. Pregnant they are with my energy and an illusion of certainty - till a time comes when every last emotion and tear that weaved those dreams is vacuumed out and shipped to a new destination. Every move takes something away from me but future beckons. I came to the USA leaving buckets of tears at home and now it’s time to drain the last morsels of my existence in this land and bid goodbye. My home will be stepped down and stripped to just another empty house. And I will have to engage myself in a futile attempt again to erase my home address, phone number and SSN memorized and carved in my memory.
The more I dwell on these thoughts the more melancholic I feel. So instead - just like I try to cherish the life of a loved one who has left me forever – I will cherish my days here forever. I will cherish the hardships of my first year as a foreigner, the 2nd year as a struggling writer, the next few years of some great friendships and fulfilled times and a whole lot of Manhattan, the 5th year of creating life and giving birth to my little angel, the 6th year of seeing some amazing success in becoming a consultant. These years are in clear sight now – packed in boxes in just a few hours!
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So dear America when I drive away - I will look at you with love. And when I drive past that hospital where my baby was born - I will etch it in my memory. Dunkin Donuts – bid you farewell and hug to the steaming hot cups of coffee that I would crave; Costco – a wholesale priced kiss to you, Shop Rite – I always loved our weekend meetings; Stew Leonard’s – oh Stew Leonard’s – I have no words to express how much I will miss you, Grand Central – there was never a moment I didn’t feel elevated when I treaded your floors. My office – hope to meet you soon again - stay with me please.
Words betray me when I look at the people who enriched my soul here. People I have learnt immense lessons from – whether through good or bad times. People who selflessly only gave and expected nothing in return – I am taking everything with me – returning richer beyond measure now with your memories and thoughts. I will ensure you and I meet again and that you give me a chance to give back. This is hence not the end – it’s not the beginning either – it’s our journey together.
I leave with a heavy heart but I have a sparkle in my eyes; my feet feel loaded but my steps are alight, I look at the road ahead but can’t help looking back. I always wanted to leave – but I leave a part of me with you. Some say America is the future – in that case Farewell Future.